SQL Server World

Speaker: George E. Vaillant, M.D.

Date Wednesday May 6^th, 2015

Speaker was 82 year old, professor of Psychiatry, Harvard medical School. Study “Adult development” from 1928 to present.

Notes from the lecture:

It is basic human hunger to be recognized, heard and seen. Without which it we would not thrive as a human being. Sometimes our sensitivity about ourselves becomes too much in this complex world and we want to step back. People do crime, or drug, or suicide, or drown themselves in work etc; in order to cope with anxiety.

We are interdependent on each other to survive and thrive. War are seeking comfort, respect and safety. We are never satisfied and full. Hunger for more constantly grows. Mind is never at peace and we constantly juggle for balance. This is where mindful meditation can help us. Come out of orbiting thoughts and sense where your body is and keeping this awareness even as you are listening, talking or doing anything. This is like pausing constant buzzing of mind. This is remembrance and not thoughtlessness.

Being aware of what mind is doing, brings peace of mind. This is because now you feel safe and seeing things as it is and not some fabrication of your mind. With patience, tranquility and contentment comes. Take this to next level by engaging into interpersonal mindfulness conversation.

Six steps of Insight Dialogue:

1. Pause
2. Relax
3. Open
4. Trust Emergence
5. Listen Deeply
6. Speak the Truth

Taken together, these guidelines offer essential support for awakening amid the rich challenges of interpersonal encounter. Each guideline calls forth different qualities, and all of them are complimentary.

Pause calls forth mindfulness; Relax, tranquility and acceptance; Open, relational availability and spaciousness; Trust Emergence, flexibility and letting go; Listen Deeply, receptivity and attunement; Speak the Truth, Integrity and care.

In everyday life, the guidelines can be taken up as needed to support a kinder and more mindful way of relating. In meditation groups or retreats, these instructions are introduced individually in an atmosphere of dedicated practice and mutual commitment.